so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize