i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize