i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
