drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
