i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
