dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
