worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Randomize
