I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
