She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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