I have demons in me.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize