i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
