Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
