so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize