he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
