I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Holy shit dude........stairs
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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