I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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