If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My feet surprised me
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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