she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
