The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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