What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i out mim tonsoeep
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize