Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
