You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
