I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
