I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
