i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
