i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
