She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Randomize
