she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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