I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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