check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
