i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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