oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
