Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
where am i from again
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
