I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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