I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
