I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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