In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
