Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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