I'm laying in your front yard are you home
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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