Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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