I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
