Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
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