I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
