plz talk dirty to me
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
