I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
