Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
