singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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