Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I woke up under a house in Key West
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