with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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