How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I could fuck to npr.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
