i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
