when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
