I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
