Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
