Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
