don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
