I want to make a zoo with you.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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